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nexus_crossings2020-01-01 02:44 pm
Destination: Tropical
“I’ve been thinking a little about this place lately.”
Roaming around with no place in mind isn’t all that unfamiliar to him these days. If he’s behind honest, the first few months of being the Captain of his own ship had been fun. He appreciated being able to go wherever he wanted, see whatever it was that he wanted to see, play in any sabacc game he heard about, drink the booze of many worlds and meet some new people. In some ways, it was everything he ever wanted and exactly what he’d hoped for.
Something was missing, though. A feeling that gnawed at him regularly without knowing exactly what it was.
”I’m heading to a warm, tropical climate and I think I’m gonna be on the planet for a couple of days. I’m wondering what what everybody in the nexus would pack, if they were going somewhere sunny.”
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“I don’t know how delicate you think I am, Leia, but it’s gonna take a little more than you sitting on my legs to break me.”
He answered her question, largely, with an impish grin. He was eager to brush his lips along the length of his neck, not even to parlay it into a kiss necessarily, but just to make new points of touch with her. He wanted her to feel that even though he was rough and scarred that his lips were soft by comparison. That he could make her heart start racing with strategic touch.
“I promise I’ll tell you if I want you to stop anything.” He says, more seriously, but in a soft murmur against her ear. “Same goes for you telling me, alright?”
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His grin suggested he wasn’t insulted by it, something sparkling in his eyes making her wonder just what he was thinking, and why the not knowing was so exciting to her.
“Good.” Leia said quietly when he set her fears to rest, but he doubled down on that with a continued statement at her ear. Warmth bathed her ear and part of her neck and made the words a bit hard to pay much attention to, she understood he was giving her an out should she chose it. But how could she even consider that when he’d given her goose-flesh just by talking? “And if I don’t?” Her voice was a whisper, heady sensations keeping that flush to her cheeks, her fingers curled in a tight grip on his shoulder. “Don’t want you to stop?”
lol, apparently I just stopped mid-sentence in my last tag. It was early. Oops.
Han wasn’t necessarily the guy who took things too far on a first night, but he wasn’t going to censure his actions if they were having fun. He’s thinking about the fact that the two of them can’t stay in the nexus forever, her especially, and who knew when they would see each other again.
Han dragged his cheek against hers. With her propped up on his lap he could see her without looking down at her and notice all kinds of things he hadn’t seen from across a dinner table. How even the color of her skin was. Where she had freckles. How soft that her hair was when it bumped into him. It had to have been really long when it wasn’t bound up the way that it was.
“What you you think about turning to face me?” He asks, the unspoken implication is without leaving his lap, of course.
I figured as much, the idea was there.
"I can do it, I think." She released his shoulder to grasp the back of the bench first in one had and then with both around him and moved in a way, well it was not entirely as agile as she might be later in her life in another situation, but still she slipped easily from sitting across his lap to astride it smoothly. Glad to have chosen pants over a dress for the day, she settled, her bottom resting on his knees and her own knees resting beside his hips.
Even with the extra height afforded her by his lap they were still only roughly at the same level. Leia shifted once to ensure her seat and relaxed. "Riding lessons." She said by way of explanation for the fluidity of what might otherwise have been an awkward adjustment. "My aunt use to say I spent more time on my thranta than on the ground."
And now that she faced him directly, and closer than ever she had, she could see other scars, tiny, hard to notice at all really. And the lopsided set of his lips was just the natural shape, it was what gave his smile that roguish charm. Most strike perhaps were his eyes, sunset had barely begun to creep red into the sky so she could still see clearly the colors in them. They were storms and seas, impossibly deep and warm where'd she'd thought them to be cold. She'd heard seeing things from a new point of view changed everything, she was beginning to see why.
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Riding lessons? Han lips twisted into a bemused smirk. He knew it wasn’t an innuendo, in her case, but it would have been a pretty funny one if it had been. He purses his lips hard, so that he can ride out the impulse to laugh. “I hope to be just as accommodating if you end up riding me, Leia.”
Had that been too crass? Probably. She was used to people talking to her like she was a gift from the heavens or whatever. He only knew how to talk to someone the way he talked, though. If he was too much of a savage for her, might as well figure it out now.
“I can’t get over how pretty you are.” He says, flashing her an almost shy smile. “Does everybody say that when they meet you? So that they have something nice to say to the Princess when they start talking to you.”
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She found the moment to be something she enjoyed, he'd probably not expect an answer like that from her and it might set him back a pace. Served him right for that smirk that turned his lips into something that was beautiful and aggravating.
Then he ruined her superior moment with what seemed to be an utterly sincere compliment. He was defying all her attempts to put him neatly into a box she could understand. He was more of a mystery to her the more time she spent with him, and just became all the more intriguing to her.
"Most, yes. But it's expected, so it rarely feels like it means more than the breath used to speak it." But it seemed like he really meant it, it was a softer comment than she would have expected and after the previous remark it left her unsure of her footing conversationally. "You are so contradictory."
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And then, she turned it around on him. Oh, he knew that she must have been well educated and just talking to her made him certain she was smart, but Leia was witty which was not the same thing. The wavy hair scoundrel pulled back like she had slapped him. He was the one wearing the stunned look. Though he quickly bounces back with a raise of his chin and a comeback of his own.
“You seem to be awfully taken with this wild animal.” He says. “All the thoroughbreds must be a little too domesticated for you.”
It seemed like a fair assessment from where he was sitting, after all. She’d met tons of people and even met someone like him before, and after all that, she’s straddling him.
“Why am I contradictory?”
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She was glad that the bench was there for her to grip, she was certain that her hands would be faltering, it wasn’t that she was a coward, far from it, but this wasn’t an arena she’s had enough experience in to have a good strategy and he was no easy to anticipate adversary.
Case in point that he questioned her comment, did he really not see it? Her brow furrowed with that. “Because I can’t figure you out. You’re kind and even sweet but then you’re arrogant and press me. Just when I think I’ve figured you out you do something completely surprising. There is no preparing for you, it’s like trying to catch starlight in your hands. It doesn’t work.”
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He says, looking right back into her eyes. Teasing her a little harder might be fun, but you know what else is fun? Sitting on a park bench with a beautiful woman in your lap. It just seems like a good idea to try not to say anything that would make her rethink their positioning efforts and Han is definitely a fan of the way they’re tangled together.
In fact, if she’s deep enough in his lap, she’ll start to feel exactly how much he likes being straddled. It had been a while since he’d indulged in anything like this, having been dumped a few months ago and not really trying to replace the void that Qi’ra left behind. This was the closest thing to romance he’d in his life as he’d had since Savareen and she was a really lovely woman showing some genuine interest in him.
“Maybe I got a different type of humor than you’re used to.”
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"I think that's a given." Leia's humor had been cultivated over time and education at numerous schools and programs and the occasional attempt to aggravate her aunts. That would have had a little of lothkittens to see her now. Such impropriety on her part, and with a smuggler no less. It was enough to make her blush and clear her throat.
She leaned back, hands coming away from the bench back to rest on her thighs. She was very new and very awkward about what to do in such a setting and taking her cues from him was not likely. He had a habit of flipping her switch with a word or glance and she did not like how easily he could do it, that was definitely reminiscent of his older self.
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“Trying to get away from me already, huh?” It’s a light tease, but he can’t help himself. It’s becoming a bit a pattern he’s noticed in the way she behaves. “It’s okay, I still like you.”
If she’s not comfortable it was better to let her ease back, wasn’t it? He can’t help but feel a little disappointment, but he’s also questioning what his endgame was here — did any of the things he hoped might happen seem all that realistic.
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"Like I said though, things have been done differently where I'm from. There are dinners and chaperoned events and watchers before you are supposed to be allowed alone with someone. It's why Raal and I took the chance we did. That said it's easy to let yourself be overcome by desires." And he had stoked those pretty well in her, it was why she needed the space, to let her cool down and think clearly. He had an ability to scramble her circuits when she got close to him. It would be so easy to just agree to things and she wasn't sure if she'd regret them later, she was half afraid she wouldn't.
"I like you, maybe more than I should." And that was the problem, she had responsibilities. A princess had commitments and duties and he wasn't helping move any of that forward. But just being this close to him, feeling the effect he had on her, it was as intoxicating as their earlier drinks. She should probably leave, that would be the safe thing to do. Safe and boring. But was that what she wanted?
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He wasn’t trying to be sarcastic. He wasn’t trying to belittle her for feeling beholden to things he couldn’t understand, but at the same time, if there was ever a moment where she wanted a break from being the Princess ... this was likely the only place she would ever really have it. Pointing that out to her was no guarantee that she would embrace the fun of being with him, though, so he’s trying to steel his heart from the possibility of rejection.
“I feel like I like you the right amount.” He says with a shrug. “But. You’re accomplished and classy and smart. I can’t find anything to dislike yet.”
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Or maybe he was offering her the out she couldn't take on her own, giving her the excuse to step back from the ties of her life outside this place and live for a change.
"There's plenty that seems to rub people the wrong way about me. I intimidate them, scare some of them outright.I'm always in command because I don't know any other way to be. I never feel like I can stop working, I fall asleep on stacks of flimsy more often than in my bed and there is still so much more to do. I'm too intense, too demanding. This outing was the first date I've had in," She had to stop and honestly think about it. "A number of years." A really long number of years for her age.
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He’s not like he’s gonna pretend he didn’t have a rooting interest in her deciding that a scoundrel was worth her time. But yes. It was also a chance for her to let him down gently.
“Kinda makes me wonder if you’re looking so hard at the forest, do you ever see the trees?” He regretted saying it almost immediately. Leia was so driven and so smart that surely some stupid metaphor he’d heard somewhere wasn’t going to impress her. And yet, Han can’t help like it’s an important thing to say anyway.
It was what would make the Rebels different from the Empire, after all. What had to make them different if they were ever going to be ‘better’.
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Han acted, which wasn't to say he didn't think, but he seemed to live on instinct and she couldn't fathom how he did it. So while he might think his comment was off the cuff and simplistic, to her it merited some thought.
"What do you mean?" And she wasn't scowling, wasn't fighting or giving him a jibe, she was honestly sitting there attentive and willing to listen. She'd learned a lot by doing that and this might well be another of those occasions.
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Han cleared his throat and took a moment to try to think about the best way to describe his point to Leia. He didn’t want to sound like some kind of thick-headed wanna be intellectual to her and he could sort of understand how people could find her intimidating like she said — despite her small stature.
“So the Empire acts in it own interests. It doesn’t really care about the people it has to choke the life out of to get what it wants. We’ve all heard the stories of worlds being stripped of all their valuables and them not being compensated in any way that’s sustainable for the people that have to live there, so I won’t go on about that — they treat their own people just as bad, though. Not as many people know that. You get dehumanized and devaluated. Issued a number. Who you were before doesn’t make any difference to them once you enlist.”
He pauses for a moment, then continues.
“I was just thinking, and there ain’t really a rebellion like you’re talking about where I come from yet, but if you thinking of this as one big battle after the next or your resources versus theirs and who has the most advantageous position at any given time ... you sort of become like them. You gotta remember that all your Rebels have a place they came from. Things that are important to them. They’re not just parts in a big machine.”
He forces a little bit of a smile, though not much of one because the subject is a somber one. “That includes Rebel Princess. I’m pretty sure they’re people too.”
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"You're saying remember what's worth fighting for?" He wasn't the first to tell her that, or to say that she had let herself be so drawn up into the rebellion that she was no longer a woman. There were those who would even call her uptight, though not to her face. And they were probably right, she had become the face of a movement and given her life over to it. It was what she thought of when she made decisions, her wants and needs were secondary considerations.
"I should follow my feelings." She nodded and looked past him a moment, pondering leaving perhaps, or changing topic? When her gaze returned it was fixed on him and she'd resolved something, her eyes had a steady determined look to them. Her hands moved from her thighs and curled into the front of his jacket. Leia leaned in and pulled him forward at the same time for a kiss. Nothing timid or experimental about it. She'd decided she was going to do something she wanted to do, and this was it.
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“I didn’t ...” say that. The lies were already on the tip of his tongue. He could say he heard from someone he had met that was discharged. He could make up a name on the spot or tell her the name of someone he had met in the academy. It’s not like she would know and it wasn’t something she could look up.
“There wasn’t a lot of places for me to go.” He says, finally, opting to tell her some of the truth.
It was hard to admit that to Leia who, he knew, had very well defined feelings for what the Empire stood for. He had been wrestling with his own feelings about the whole thing since he’d deserted, but he felt extra embarrassed about his participation now and it showed on his face. At least for a moment. He can see that she got something else on her mind entirely and he was glad for that — though the kiss comes as a bit of a surprise.
Han settles into the moment quickly enough. He’s reaching his hands almost possessively around her lower back and he pulls her into his lap. He’s not shy about the pressure from his nose and jaw rubbing against her as he kisses back hard. This was a no-holds-barred backstreets of Corellia kind of kiss now and Han was perfectly at home in it.
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If he was looking for judgement from her, he wouldn't find it. She'd seen what he went on to do, even if he hadn't.
She was pleased the kiss took him so by surprise, but he returned the favor just as quickly. She squeaked a bit into the kiss, unprepared for the intensity he poured into it. Though she didn't recover as quickly as he did, she did recover. Easing forward and letting go of his jacket, her hands slid up into his hair from the nape of his neck. Small and dainty but warm and just hinting of nervousness. She was finding her footing so to speak.
Though another surprise awaited her when she began to rock toward him with her hips and his pull. That was definitely not behavior she'd been exposed to in situations like this. As if she'd ever been in a situation like this before. The kiss raged on and she had to pull back and gasp for breath, her forehead resting to his, she inhaled sharply a few times.
"If I was to ask you where you were staying..." Would he think less of her? Would he laugh? "Would that be wrong?"
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He murmurs with an unbridled smile. Han, being the recipient of any kind of affection she would be offering in that instance, wasn’t in a position to judge. Even if he had been, he wouldn’t. This is what people did when they had an attraction to each other and if they were going back to different points in time ... it wasn’t like he’d ever find her anywhere except for here.
He’d have to look into the best way to make sure they could find each other again, before going back home.
“We can find a place. I don’t really have an apartment here the way some people do, but finding a room won’t be too hard.”
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"I think I'd like to find somewhere we could continue this less," She pulled back enough to look around generally. "open." She didn't quiet blush, not deep red, but there was pink to her cheeks with the admission, or perhaps it was that last kiss. She almost defaulted to asking if he also wanted to, but he wasn't being coy about it and there was no reason to pretend she hadn't noticed his interest.
"How exactly do we find a place?" Not her area of expertise but she is open to suggestions.
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“We would go down to the commerce district and see what there is to see. You can also go on the network, which is like this place’s version of the holonet, and pay for the room before you get there.”
In hindsight, he’s not all that surprised that the Princess has had a wealth of experience getting her own hotel room somewhere. He didn’t get the sense that Leia snuck away with handsome scoundrels much. Or ever.
“Are you picky about your accommodations, Leia?”
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So she could pay for a room, and maybe they would talk more. Or kiss more. She honestly wasn't sure what they might do, or what they might want to do.
"Not after Imperial Retention and Interrogation hold cells or trash compactors. After that everything else seems quite nice." It was intended as a joke, well mostly, but it could fall flat. Still it would get the idea across that she could make do with anything not infested or dangerous.
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Though his eyes narrowed at the reveal that she had spent some time in an Imperial holding cell and he reached out to place his hand over hers in empathy. Han knew exactly how poorly people who were detained by the Empire could be treated, though, he’s not certain how being a princess might change the usual approach. Would they treat her better so as not to ruffle Queen Breha and Bail?
Alderaan might not have a military presence anymore, but even Han knew it wasn’t necessary wise to pick a fight with a influential core world all the same.
“Okay Princess, ready to be lead around by a wild stallion?” He teases her with a fractional smile on his face. His big hands settle on her little waist and he easily picks her up off of his lap and sets her on her feet. “I think I saw a few good places last time I was here in the nexus.”
His hand was offered to her if she wanted to have it.
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